ENGLISH WRITING(1) - Peer Review Workshop for Literary Analysis Essay

Post your responses to the peer review workshop sheet questions here and send them to your partner as well after you complete the task in class. These are due at the end of class on Friday, April 7. (If you need more time, you can complete the task by the end of that day.) You should use the peer review workshop questions near the bottom of the section called Literary Analysis Essay on my website.

 

Feel free to comment on the draft as well but do not make any changes for your partner. Point out the issues but allow your partner to make the changes by himself/herself/themselves.

 

This exercise will be graded on a ten-point scale and will be worth 10% of the final grade in the course, so be as detailed and constructively critical as possible.

 

Please note that the grace period does not apply to peer review workshops or workshop essay drafts. 

You may find the peer review workshop sheet at this link:

http://williamashline.tripod.com/Writing/Peer_Review_Workshop--Literary_Analysis_Essay.docx

 

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PEER REVIEW WORKSHOP FOR LITERARY ANALYSIS ESSAY

 

Please exchange papers with a partner and read his or her paper carefully. Underline the thesis and topic sentences. Honestly answer the following questions as carefully as you can and do so holistically rather than individually.

 

1.      Does the title arouse interest and forecast the argument to be addressed? Is it brief, clever, and relevant or long, wordy, and vague? How might the author improve the title?

 

The title of the essay arouses my interest as soon as I saw it. The writer of the essay mentions in the title that what Connie went through is just a dream and Arnold Friend is just an imaginative creature in Connie’s nightmare. Also the title “True or Dream” which the writer chose to use as a title is very brief and compact which contains core thought of the writer. Also, the title is relevant to the story so that I can easily understand and easily guess what the essay author’s intention and focus is. I can relate to and agree to the essay’s author’s opinion.

 

One thing I would like to mention is that the essay’s author made a contrast between True and dream by juxtaposing two words together as a title, but dreams also contains true and real thing since dreams are based on our real life experiences. So I would like to propose that the essay’s writer to change the term true to a different word like reality etc.

 

 

2. How does the introduction capture your interest, explain the story to be addressed and suggest why the story is significant for analysis but without praising it? Does the writer pose a significant question to be answered in the thesis?

 

 

In the introduction, the essay’s author explains readers about the story and I think this is good way to summarize and give information to the reader. After the brief summary of the plot, the essay’ author poses a question that the things that happened in the story are actually dream. I think this is a good way to draw attention of the reader. But I suggest that you put the question in the start of the paragraph. you can write the plot summary after the significant question so that some readers who already know the story wouldn’t lose its interest and attention. Or you can just shrink down the plot summary into two or three sentences and just dive into the significance questions.

 

 

Also what I found is that the line between the main body and the exposition is somewhat vague maybe author might write those more distinctively next time.

 

 

In the second paragraph, the essay’s author mainly goes into the plot summary again but in more detailed way. I think it isn’t necessary to do a plot summary again since the author already did a plot summary in the first paragraph. So I recommend that the essay’s writer delete or diminish the plot summary in the first paragraph and strengthen and develop the second paragraph plot summary.

 

 

Another thing I would like to suggest is that I think the climax of the story is the scene that Connie grabs the phone and tries to ask help from her mother screaming.  I think what the essay’s writer thought as a climax could be a good discussion topic yet it lacks the power and impact enough to be a climax. Though, I see why the author thought that part as a climax of the story.

 

 

Lastly, the essay’s author interpret the ending of the story as Connie waking up and the dream ending and her leaving the house. But why would she leave her house as soon as she wakes up? I think the ending that the author interprets lacks the logical explanation.

 

 

3. Does the introduction conclude with the writer’s thesis? Is the thesis surprising?

Does the thesis cover what the writer takes to be the theme of the story? Do you consider the thesis to be contestable, i.e. worthy of defending in an essay? How might the author improve the thesis?

 

 

I think that the thesis that the essay’s author suggest is the last sentence of the first paragraph which is "Connie’s confrontation is just her dream”.

 

 

I think the first paragraph and the second paragraph are relevant with each other. They both poses the Connie’s experience is only a daydream of her. The essay doesn’t digress into another path and keeps its thesis. Also , I think the thesis that the author chose to focus is interesting.

 

 

In the third paragraph of the essay, the author delve into each main characters in the story. The author wrote the essay with very sharp observations of the story. But, the author said that the Connie is three-dimensional character by taking reasons that she acted differently to her mother and her friends. And I think that can’t be the reason of being an three-dimensional character. I think Connie is a three-dimensional character because her characteristic features are well developed and she seems like a real person.

 

 

4. Look at the writer’s plot analysis. Are all the terms of plot applied to the analysis or just a few? Does it lead with an appropriate topic sentence? Comment in detail on the plot below.

 

 

The author wrote about the plot in the first and the second paragraph of the essay. I could see that the author of the essay really put his effort on the essay because he used all the literary terms written in the guidance. He allocated each terms in the each paragraphs and wrote some analysis with deep observation. According to Professor Ashline, plot, point of view, settings, character and thesis should belong to the exposition. I like the skill of the essay’s author that he mainly takes about the plot in first and second paragraph while dealing with character, settings and narrating style etc. In third paragraph, which I think is the start of the main body, the author wrote about characters with deep analysis which I think is a good structure.

 

 

5. How is the essay organized? Does the writer helpfully forecast the whole, place topic sentences before particulars, use transitions, and follow the old/new contract? How might the author improve or clarify the organization and coherence of the essay?

 

 

It catches my attention that the author of the essay focused on the quotes and the lines of the character and tried to interpret those to corroborate his thesis. But I’m afraid that some of the interpretation gone too far and somewhat diverges from the main thesis. For example, the Author mentioned about true love which Connie had never experienced before. I think this proposition went too far and doesn’t have in common with the main thesis: Connie’s confrontation is just her dream. I carefully think it is good strategy to drop the true love statement and focus on the main thesis. Other then this, I agree to your other interpretation.

 

 

6. What narrative/literary terms of interpretation does the writer employ in the essay? Is the application of symbol, irony, style, theme, and tone appropriate and compelling? How so?

 

 

I like the way the essay’s writer dealt with each elements of the story by allocating each element of the story into each paragraph and analyzing its deep meaning. The author of the essay writer about all the terms written in the guidance sheet provided by the Professor Ashline.  Also, the author found out two symbols in the story. One is music and the other is Arnold’s Car. I think it compelling and I agree to the explanations of the symbols. One thing maybe you can add is that the part that the narrator described that Connie walked joyfully as if she was  listening to music. This scene could also strengthen your music symbol.

 

The author also mentioned about the irony of the title and I totally agree to his thoughts about it.

 

 

7. Is the author of the essay consistently being analytical, or is the author lapsing into evaluation at times? Point out any areas that might be problematic in that regard.

 

 

As I mentioned above, each paragraph of the essay focuses on one or two term and after that, the explanation and the interpretation of the term follows. So I can tell that the style of the essay is kept analytical throughout the essay.

 

 

8. Where do you find the analysis and interpretation unconvincing or superficial?

 

 

One thing I would like to mention is that last analysis sentence in the last paragraph of the story lacks logic. I’m afraid breathing in identical patterns could not be the evidence of her sleeping. Especially when you are listening to rock music or dreaming a nightmare, you don’t breath like that.

 

Also As I mentioned above, the true love part is unconvincing.

 

 

 

9. Summarize the essay strengths and weaknesses.

 

Essay Strengths                                              

 

-analysed all the literary terms.

-Found two symbols

-paragraphs are nicely divided

dealing with each teams.

-title of the essay is good, and compact

 

Essay Weaknesses

 

-I’ll skip since the author’s writing skill is way higher than mine.

 

 

9. General suggestions for revision.

 

 

The author focus on the lines and the quotes of the character. This is good but characters don’t always tell the truth and often there are characters who are unreliable and lack of aauthenticity like Edgar A poe. So why don’t the author focus more on the narrator’s narration of the story which is a bit more reliable than the lines of the character.

 

While reading, I found it difficult to draw a line between the exposition and the main body paragraph. Why don’t you use some Conjunctions to mark it.