[ADVANCED ENGLISH WRITING] "Teach Yourself Italian" Reflection

"And there are many other obstacles, small but annoying. We don't know where to take the recycling, how to buy a subway and bus pass, where the bus stops are. Everything has to be learned from zero."

 

This sentence reminds me of my experience of Canada. I have been in Canada for seven months as a working holiday traveler when I was 21 years old. It was right after I finished my mandatory military service. During the time I was in the military, I prepared for the trip to Canada, applying for a visa and studying English. I was confidence at first because I was just out military and I was unexperienced. My confidence was collapsed the day I arrived in Canada. I was lose in the Vancouver city. To add salt on the injury, I found out that the bus ticket to Calgary had been all sold out so I had to find a place to sleep that night. Also, I stammer and stutter much more at the time then now, so every and each single daily life in Canada was a huge challenge and struggle to me. I used to complain all the time about how expensive day pass tickets for transportation in Calgary are, until I found out that I can buy monthly pass for all the transportation with a reasonable price. Applying for my ID card was also a huge step and challenge for me. I had to prove where I live to apply for the ID. I needed a letter that my name and my address written on it. but there was no way I can get it, because even the local library asked me to bring my valid ID if I want them to send a postcard to my place with my name on it. I struggled and with the help of my landlord I eventually manage to applied my ID. If my English skill had been better, I wouldn't have struggled and suffered that much. But, at the age of 21, I had to learn everything from zero. I totally understand the author's feeling.

 

"I know some people in New York who speak it perfectly. I'm embarrassed to talk to them. I need someone with whom I can struggle, and fail."

 

Making friends in Canada was a huge challenge for me. I am huge introvert who avoid socializing and sent most of my high-school life studying alone. My MBTI test result is 99% Introverted. But in Canada, I decided to change my character and make Canadian friends. So, I went to the local church and attended the young adults bible study. It turned out that it was a huge disaster. I got very nervous and insecure so my stammering got worse. I couldn't say a word and other Canadian young adults are talking so fast that I couldn't understand even a single word. It turned out that there is a huge huge gap between English they speak and English I studied when I was in the military. So, I quit going to the church. Fortunately, my landlady was Filippina, so she invited me to the Philippines community. I was invited to a Philippines dinner party and I got to make many good friends there. Their English was not perfect but they speak much much better English than me. I learned a lot from them. They speak English in a speed of just as fast as I can understand if I pay a really close attention. Since their English are not perfect, I didn't feel embarrassed speaking English to them. Also I stammered much less. This really helped me improve my English and I feel very thankful for the landlady and my Philippino friends.  As I read the text, it reminds me of my Philippino friends in Canada.

 

"A total metamorphosis isn't possible in my case. I can write in Italian, but I can't become an Italian writer."

 

I used to be a shy and insecure guy. Honestly, I used to be a huge coward. I felt very shy about speaking English. I always got the feeling that people are laughing at me in the inside when I speak broken English. This insecurity and worrying made me stammer more when I tried to say something. But, thought my experience in Canada, I realize that there are lots of people in Canada who speak worse English than me, but managed to root down and live a life there. Few years after I got back to Korea, I realized that even though  I major in English, I still won't speak perfect English and my English speaking will still contain some aspect of Korean accent. I realize that English is not the ultimate goal in my life but just a mere tool that helps me to learn other things and communicate with other. With this mindset, I feel that my English is good enough and I feel much comfortable using English. I even went on a date with an international student in our school who can't speak Korean at all. I used to stammer and stutter all the time but with this mindset, I improved and I get better and better every day. I think what really important is not the grammar or the language itself, but the ideas and the context that the language conveys.